what an elusive concept to grasp.
i have not been feeling myself lately but finally yesterday things fell back into place. it was beautiful outside yesterday. just a nice autumn breeze, didn't really need a coat. woke up and made coffee and went to sunday school. i really like my sunday school class for probably the first time ever. there's nothing cheesy about it. there's no one in it that feels like they have to answer every question. everyone is there to encourage each other and help each other grow into a 'woman of excellence.' yesterday's lesson was surrender. learning how to live God's life instead of your own life. it was so poignant for me. everything resonated. i love it when church is like that. then we had church and caron and kate sang. that always touches my heart in a different way. i love hearing beautiful words coming in the form of a flowing, sometimes folky melody. it speaks to the musician in me.
not only that but some loose ends were able to be tied up. sometimes loose ends are loose ends and that's just how it has to stay. but when you look at those loose ends, realize you don't have to keep grasping for each separate piece, and give the whole bouquet of them to God to hold, you realize you have a pretty good lifeline to a protector and planner, lover, and comforter as he holds the frayed end of your rope. it was lovely to have my heart come around to that realization again. sometimes you just look up and all you can see is a rope disappearing into the sky...you don't see the hands on the other end.
today was nice. i had an unexpected work day. not only was i not supposed to have to go in today, but it was also supposed to be one of our busiest days of late. thank God it was slower than normal so i just got to relax and enjoy my job without stressing out. after work i came home to relax with taryn for a half hour before her class. when she left i went tanning (free tan coupon in the paper...yay!), stopped by a grocery store, got hot chocolate at starbucks, perused menards (for a cord for my rice cooker) and walmart (coming home with only a $3.97 wall clock) and after i was done browsing (also for spider killer...who knew?) i came home and did yoga. i'm proud of myself today. i did alot of things i have been wanting to do.
now i want to go to bed....
but wait...first comes dinner.