"love. dedication. trust.
these are things longed and sought for, at least by me. i want someone to completely 'get' me. like in grey's anatomy, i want 'a person.' a person with the same values. not the same goals necessarily, but someone going down the same path. with the same commitment to the relationship."
i wrote this back in 2006. it is always truly amazing to me to look back and see where i was at certain points in my life. i never was a really steady journal keeper, so my records are very thin. looking back i'm amazed at how incomplete i felt most of the time. i was always looking for another half. i would pray and pray and pray for someone to be my partner in crime. i would read about jonathan and david, i would ask God for someone to help move me along in my spiritual journey, someone to encourage me and be my accountability.
only when i look back at my journals from that time do i realize how completely hopeless i was about the whole thing. how much i didn't believe it would ever happen. how i had resigned myself to aloneness and to the individual life.
God has blessed me so much in this area. i carried on alone for so long, and finally had come to terms with being alone when he brought me the greatest gift i could ask for. i suppose that's how it always works. God brings us to a point of contentment with a particular situation that may or may not be comfortable, and then he blesses us beyond our understanding.
thank you God for bringing me that encouragement, and thank you Taryn for unceasingly pursuing a truer and truer friendship with me. thank you for the late nights discussing until things are ironed out, for the discussions about controversial points, for the convincing where i need it, and for listening to me when you need it. thank you for the give AND the take. thank you for lifting my heart up in prayer. thank you for making this the most God-centered friendship i have ever had. and thank you for being commited to making sure it stays that way. i love you forever.