hmm.
that is how i feel right now. kind of an empty-pensive-comfy-confused-comforted sort of feeling...
does that make sense?
right now i am sitting in my very warm, cozy room. i am knitting a little tiny blanket for a person who hasn't been born, hasn't been named, but i love him already.
i am watching a movie that is very indie, very emo, very musical, very wistful.
i am longing for a hand to hold, a soul to hug, a friend who thinks like me and loves like me and appreciates like me...to appreciate this moment.
i am contemplating the vast difference of my life between august and december.
i am missing the piano, missing the joy of making music, missing art, missing creating.
i am missing the idealistic world that i often describe my childhood as, that you see in movies, where it never gets dark, you just run through life barefoot, loving every little color, every little smell, every sight, taste, and feeling, every sound. hearing the harmonies of nature.
i can't live in an idealistic world alone.
i need you.
1 comment:
wow.
i cant tell you how much this touched me. how much everything you ever write. reaches so deep. you write it down. its real. everyone can see. its real and you are sure. i can see it. i can read it.
i cant seem to convey things like this. i cant ever tell you how beautiful you are. I dont know how to say how much you've changed my life. how everytime i think of something i want to tell you. how i cry because you're not here, how i feel lost and empty without you. how my world is brighter with you in it. i feel like things are alright. like things are possible. you love and revel in the person i am. who i am. right now. and who i was, and who i will be. you love all of me. and i. i. am blown away.
i cant describe it. words are not adequate.
you. are all i need in this life. and are the most precious and important. wonderful. beautiful. and real. thing. that has ever happened to me.
i need you too.
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