Sunday, April 6

seems like nothing is black and white anymore

It's been an interesting weekend emotionally. You know...it's been 2 years since I've been at Covenant. Typically I think students grow more and more accustomed to college life. Well I have seemed to do the opposite. Everyday my desire for home grows stronger and stronger.

Why do you think that is? I think it's because as we grow older we develop more of an independence from our home and family than we used to have, but we miss life as it used to be, especially in college. We look back and long to be the little kid that gets taken care of again. When we're sick we want our mom's to hold our heads in their laps and make us chicken noodle soup (i don't think my mom ever did that though) and rub our backs. We want to be able to be vulnerable, but instead we have to buck up and take care of business, because when you're away at school...it's kind of like you are your own family.

I think this is where Matthew 18:3 is applicable. "And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven." God wants us to maintain that childlike sense of dependency on Him. We need to rely on him for every little thing. It's so hard to do, you know. To not try and take care of it ourselves. That reminds me of me in high school. I, though I was learning independence, jumped into it heart and soul and tried to do everything on my own, apart from my parents. The only thing I consistently did not do for myself was try and pay for things. I kinda view this like how we continually go to God when we need help. We use him when we need him, but otherwise we just kinda go on our merry way.

Hm. How does YOUR relationship with God look? Like the highschooler/college student, mooching off his/her parents? Or like a child?


1 comment:

Olivia said...

for sure i have been in the place, for far too long, of being a 'moocher' instead of a 'lover,' if that makes sense. through the different things i've gone through since being at covenant i have had to rely on christ and when i didn't i backslid into deep, deep sin in which i couldn't get out of...without him.

i have learned the beauty of dependence on christ and interdependence within the body of christ and the independence in which i find myself living in as a college student. the beautiful reality is to be like little children at the foot of the cross, to hold His hand, and to gaze into his face and thank him for the unsearchable greatness that He is to me, every single day :)